Anxiety Prevents Messy Memories

My family and I have lived in our home for a year and a half now and not one time have I had people over other then my parents and in laws. Multiple times people have asked to come over and see the place but I always say no because my house is a disaster. The replies are always the same “You have kids it’s understandable. Messy house means memories being made.” Which for most families that’s ok. Most mom’s can look at the mess and smile because their kids are happy and making memories. But I can’t.

Anxiety prevents me from being able to enjoy the messy moments. I see a messy house and immediately the anxiety swells up inside and I can’t help but get upset I can’t help but get stressed. Alice starts pulling things out of her toy box and throws it on the grown and walks away and it bothers me. She is only 17 months old she doesn’t know any better and doesn’t understand why her mother is getting upset. Thankfully she just laughs it off and skips on but how long will she be able to do that? 

Children are supposed to make messes. They are supposed to pull all the toys out of the toy box and leave them there. They are supposed to put there food in their hair and make messes while eating. They are supposed to go outside and fall down and get dirty. Kids with normally functioning parents can do that but mine cannot. I feed Alice the least messy food I can find to prevent a mess. We don’t go outside because I’m terrified she will get dirty or hurt. My anxiety, my mental illness prevents my children from making normal memories. It prevents play dates because I’m afraid that child will hurt mine or will make my kids sick. I hover over my kids to prevent anything from happening and all that is going to do is hurt them in the end. 

I have recently started taking medicine to help ease my anxiety and keep it locked away. Children need to be children but they can’t when mommy can’t control herself. I’m always looking for natural ways and alternatives to help with anxiety so leave a comment below telling me how you control it. 

Peace.Love.And Keep Adventuring 

Life’s Daily Struggles

*Just Breathe*

*Just Breathe*

I tell myself this multiple times a day, and when I say multiple times I mean at least 8 times a day. All day long I’m telling myself just breathe, you love your kids, they could be worse. 

You probably are sitting back thinking “she only has 2 and the oldest is only a year and a half how could it be so bad?” Trust me I ask myself that same question everyday. I tell myself I suck at being a mom because I can’t handle my own kids at times. I tell myself if I can’t handle them now how can I handle them when they are older and are into more things? 

Everyday every family has their struggles, everyday parents are asking the same questions. If you aren’t going through this then please get in contact with me and teach me your ways!

Daily Bumps 

A normal day for me consists of having one baby attached to my boob while chasing the other one from one end of the house to the other. Or trying to use the restroom while feeding Alice cookies to get her to calm down. It also consists of sitting in my room crying while both of them sit strapped in their highchairs screaming because nothing mommy does is making them happy.

We all have bumps throughout our day whether it’s our children getting hurt or hurting their sibling (which happens a lot at my house) whether it’s our children destroying the room we just spent 3 hours cleaning. They are getting into everything or nothing you do makes them happy so they scream all day. These things are normal, doesn’t mean you suck doesn’t mean you can’t handle being a parent, it just means we have a few bumps in the day to get over. 

Alice destroying a brand new box of tissues

Future Daily Struggles 

I know right now my struggles are easy compared to how bad they are going to get. Right now I have one walker and one army crawler and I know once they both start walking I’ll have a whole new set of bumps to get over. I know when they start talking more will be added on but for now I’m just going to pretend this is as hard as it gets. That in 2 years I will have 2 perfect angels who do no wrong… please tell me there is small chance of that happening? 

Took me 3 hours to clean, took Alice 5 minutes to destroy it

In the comments down below tell me how your family deals with daily bumps.

Peace.Love.And Keep Adventuring